Wednesday, May 31, 2006


I thought it was funny. Hope you think it's funny too.

Monday, May 29, 2006


This memorial Day I would like to send out a very warm and heart felt Thank You.
Many thanks to all the brave men and women of the U.S. Armed Forces.
And thanks to all of those that have fallen in the line of duty defending Our great Nation.
We mourn the losses and hope for a speedy return of our Soldiers fighting now.

Sunday, May 28, 2006


Friday night Doug and I attended my 18 year old daughters graduation. The air conditioning wasn't working in the auditorium so the place felt like a sauna. It was almost unbearable.

The choir sang for what seemed like forever. The superintendent rambled on and on. But I knew we were in real trouble when the Valedictorian went to the podium with a spiral. How much does an 18 year old have to reflect on?

The Salutatorian was up next. This kid wasn't too bad, he had only a couple of index cards. For some unknown reason the National Honor Society grads were announced individually twice.

Finally they got down to business and started handing out diplomas. Now normally I wouldn't sneak out in the middle of something like this. These kids have worked hard for this moment. But as soon as my kid walked across the stage and received her diploma. We were out of there.

Everyone one else had the same idea. Because the crowd of parents milling around outside waiting for their kids kept growing. I swear there were heat waves coming out of the doors.

But we finally got another through High School!!

Friday, May 19, 2006


No one in my house ever throws anything away. You never know when you might need that. Or, it'll be worth money someday.
I seriously doubt that a Dollar Store Spiderman that has been run over by the mower will bring much at auction.

My daughter has kept most of her shoes. Even one's she has outgrown. Kate has a shoe fetish. Her closet floor is covered, and she buys more shoes at every opportunity.

My son J.D. collects swords. Wooden ones, plastic, rubber it doesn't matter. He might have three identical swords but he is always looking to add to his collection.

Doug keeps clothes. Clothes that were gifts that he will never wear. When we met he had probably 15 shirts, tags still attached, hanging in his closet. He won't return them for something he likes. He won't give them away, or throw them out.

Doug said it would be rude to take back a gift. I said no, it is a waste of money to just let them rot in your closet. To this very day I don't buy him clothes. For that very reason.

I keep probably the dumbest stuff. I keep screws out of broken things, gift boxes and bags, and owners manuals to things that have long since bit the dust.

And I swear people are leaving me keys! I find more keys that don't fit anything than you can shake a stick at. Why can't they leave me money?

But unlike the rest of my family. I can let go of my treasures. Whenever I come across an old manual I throw it out. The other's act as if I were asking for a kidney when I beg them to get rid of some of their clutter.

So I have resorted to sneaking small amounts of their treasures out and tossing them in a dumpster across town. Heaven forbid one of them find their beloved junk in the trash. Someone could pull a muscle dumpster diving.

I wonder if there is a twelve step program for pack rats?

Thursday, May 18, 2006


Yesterday I had to make a trip to the big city and go to Wal- Mart. And I know I am not alone when I say, you can see some pretty "special" people in Wally World. People that seem inbred.

I had my son J.D. with me. And as usual, we had to stop in the toy department for a look. That's when I met Scooter. In overalls, and velcro tennis shoes. Scooter rushed up to us and in a loud voice asked me if I knew where the preparation H was.

O.K. first, personally I would roam around for hours before asking for Butt Bullets. But Scooter was loud and seemed desperate. I smiled, and pointed towards the Pharmacy. Scooter shuffled off in a hurry and J.D. and I went on shopping.

Thirty minutes later, on the opposite side of Wal-Mart in the frozen food section, Scooter found us again. This time he was waving a box of preparation H over his head yelling "I found it!" I said great, pulling J.D. behind me. It was clear Scooter wasn't all there.

This same sort of thing happens to me quite a bit in Wal-Mart. At first I wondered if I was just a magnet for these people, or were there just more special people in Wal-Mart for me to run into? I have figured it out I think.

Rednecks that can't afford to put there Uncle Dad in a group home, simply drop them off at Wal-Mart. Think about it, there's food, clothes, t.v.'s, and bathrooms. What else do they need? And since Wally World is open 24 hours, Uncle Dad won't get kicked out at closing time. And the family can visit, whenever they go to town.

At least that's my theory on the abundance of inbreeders at Wal-Mart.

Sunday, May 14, 2006


My Mother taught me many things in my life. I love my mom dearly. Here are a few things that mom taught me.

1) Mom taught me that, "She brought me in this world and she could take me out and make another one just like me."

2) She taught me that when she spanked me that, "It hurt her more than it hurt me." Yeah right! The jury is still out on that one.

3) Mom also taught me that her love for me is unconditional. No matter what I have done.

4) She taught me how to be my own person. To stand up for what I believe even if it's not the popular choice.

5) Mom taught me how to multi-task. Have a full time job, a house, and a family. And not neglect any of them.

6) Most importantly she taught me how to be a woman!

Mom I love you. You are the strongest woman I have ever met. And I am proud I know you, and have had the privilege to call you Mom.


Monday, May 08, 2006


No you pervs not that kind of toy. Doug got me a laptop as an early Mother's Day gift. Sometimes he can be really sweet. Which leaves me to wonder if he's up to something. You know like he's trying to make brownie points.

This laptop is cool. But instead of a mouse (that by the way, I just recently mastered) there's just a little pad. And there are so many buttons that I don't dare push any of them when my teenage daughter isn't home.

Anytime anything strange pops up on the screen. I yell, Kate come fix it! She rolls her eyes, pushes a few buttons, and mutters, it's real easy to fix Mother. I just smile and say thanks sweetie, while muttering the washer is real easy to operate too, but you still can't master that!

I like the freedom this thing offers me. I am not stuck in the bedroom for two hours trying to write a four paragraph bloc. Yes, I use the hunt and peck typing method. I have never needed to learn how to type before. So I am a source of amusement for my kids and my husband.

Thank You Honey for my new toy! I am guessing that you'll be expecting more than a "World's greatest Dad" t-shirt for Father's Day huh?

Thursday, May 04, 2006


Happy half naked Thursday everyone!

I have been sick all week. So I haven't been able to catch everyone up on the wedding. Everything went off without a glitch.

And I held true to my word. There are no pictures of me in my dress that were salvageable. So I took a picture this morning of the hooker heels that Trish made me wear.

And since it is Thursday, it's a two for one post.
My Photo
Location: Podunk, Texas

I am a wild Irish rose stuck in a cow pasture. Completely out of my element but trying to fit in as best I can.


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